


Too scared to dream (too alive not to.)

by flyingonthewind



Series: A Soulmate Trilogy [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: AU, All Human, Multi, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 16:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10030685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingonthewind/pseuds/flyingonthewind
Summary: Everything changes when you have a kid. There’s nothing you wouldn’t sacrifice for their happiness. Finding your soulmate doesn’t change that.The third part of of a series in which soulmates are found upon the touch of skin. Each part will have a different pairing at its center, though all three parts are connected and together they form a bigger story.





	

The door clicked closed behind him, softly, shutting out the laughter and chatter drifting through the apartment. Air left Alec’s lungs on a long exhale as his shoulders relaxed. When they’d first viewed the apartment a few years back, he had instantly fallen in love with this room with its dark wooden floor that glowed warmly in the sunlight and its large, panoramic window overviewing a bustling New York City street. It had been a large factor in deciding to get the place despite the hefty price-tag, and he had swiftly claimed the room as his office. The walls were lined with heavy wooden bookcases, the sturdy shelves only just able to sustain the heavy weight of hundreds of books carefully arranged by the colour of their spine. An old-fashioned wood-carved desk was pushed against the wall opposite the door, and was covered in papers and books in a systematic mess that only Alec knew to decipher. His favourite part of his office was, however, the deep windowsill. Decked out with dark blue pillows to match the blue and silver stencil running along the edge of the ceiling, the bench offered the perfect spot for him to hide away from the world with his many manuscripts. 

Alec smiled to himself as he got settled with his freshly refilled cup of black coffee and the surprisingly gripping manuscript he had been engrossed with for most of the day. He allowed himself a few moments of starring at the people milling about in the street below – a pastime that had proven on occasions to be fairly distracting – before delving back into the elaborate fantasy universe of the novice writer. He was pulled back into the real world some time later by a shy yet insisting knock on the door. He looked up in time to catch a little familiar head peaking through the tiny split between the door and the frame. 

  “Hey, Raf,” Alec smiled, waving for his son to come in. Rafael was a small child with unruly black curls and a smile to rival the sun. He made his way into the room, carefully, clutching a notebook and a box of crayons to his chest. 

  “Can I work in here with you, dad?” he asked, blue eyes round. “Mrs. Garroway says we have to draw posters for the school play. It’s a comp’tition, so it has to be good!” 

  “Sure, Buddy,” with a smile, Alec effortlessly lifted the seven-year-old from the floor and placed him in the opposite end of the windowsill. This was a ritual they had. When Rafael came home from school after a long day of noise and stimulation, he would seek out the quiet pressurelessness of his fathers office.  Over the years the two of them had spent countless of hours on the windowsill, working together in confidential silence. 

  “What are you going to draw?” Alec asked as he took a sip of his now cold coffee. He winched, but still downed the remains. 

  “A dragon,” Rafael hummed, shifting through the notebook in search of a blank page. 

  “Sounds fun. Is there a dragon in the school play though?” Alec watched the frown of concentration on his son’s face as Rafael carefully opened up the case of crayons. They were a birthday present from his aunt Izzy, and he always treated them with outmost care. 

  “Nope,” Rafael shook his head lightly, picking out the shade he wanted for his dragon. “But Mr. Bane promised there will be one in the play next year.” 

  “Yeah? Then what’s in the play this year?” Alec let his fingers drift over the pages of the nearly finished manuscript still in his lap, though he continued watching his son. 

  “A boring princess.” Rafael answered indifferently, starting in on his drawing.

  “I thought you liked princesses well enough?” Alec frowned. 

  “I like princesses that fight and stuff. Not princesses who just wait around to be saved.” Alec laughed softly, turning to look down at the street below. It was a little calmer, now, as evening was descending. He could clearly hear his sister’s voice in his son’s words. 

  “Right,” he smiled, “but if it’s a poster for the play, shouldn’t you draw something from the play?” 

  “Nuh-uh,” Rafael didn’t look up from his work. “Mrs. Garroway said we could draw what we wanted. She just encursed us to draw something from the play, but I want to draw a dragon, so.” Rafael shrugged nonchalantly, and Alec shook his head at him, eyes crinkling as he smiled widely. 

“Well, then. Cary on.” He watched his son for a moment longer before turning back to his manuscript. A while later, could have been 5 minutes, could have been half an hour, a throat clearing pulled the both of them from the bubble they had build around themselves. Lydia raised an amused eyebrow at them when they turned towards her with matching round and surprised eyes. 

“Boys,” she said, folding her arms over her chest and leaning against the doorframe. “Grandma Lightwood will be here in 15 minutes. You’ve been warned.” The annoyed twitch of her husbands eye and the pout taking over Rafael’s face made her fight down a smile. “Get washed up.” She shook her head, pushed away from the door and marched away. Schooling his face, Alec turned back to Rafael. 

  “Come on Buddy,” he smiled, putting away his work, and standing up. 

  “But I’m not done!” Rafael protested, tilting the notebook for Alec to see. He might be biased, but Alec was quite certain that there was a highly talented and creative soul harbouring in his son, just waiting to be cultivated. The dragon unfolding over the page was nothing like what Alec had expected. Red and orange lines shaped out large, bat-like wings that spread out over the page. A small, cat-like body huddled in-between the wings, triangular eyes stared out of a pointy face, as the creature crouched down in front of a warrior princess, long-sword drawn against the enemy. 

  “You can work on it before bed instead of a story, okay?” Alec ruffled the curls as Rafael huffed, resigned. “Come on, Buddy. Lets get washed up,” He lifted Rafael down from the windowsill, letting his hands stay on the tiny shoulders as he walked his son out of the office. 

(***)

“Bye mom. We’ll see you next week,” Alec kept the smile in place right up until th44e door had firmly closed behind his mother. Then he let it drop along with his shoulders and head. Having his mother over for dinner always left him utterly drained for energy. 

On his way to the kitchen he pocked his head into Rafael’s room, to find the boy asleep amidst papers and crayons. With a shake of the head he stepped into the room to gather the things and place them in their spot on the little desk under the window. 

“The she-dragon’s gone,” Lydia turned to send him a tight smile from her place next to the boiling kettle. If Alec had chosen the place for his office, then Lydia had agreed because of the kitchen. This was her domain; the place to which she retreated to find peace. As such, it was always kept meticulously clean, not a thing out of place. 

  “Good,” she said, ”Did you check in on Rafa?” Alec nodded, walking over to fold his arms around her. 

  “He’s out cold.” He pressed a quick kiss to the crown of her head. 8 years of mariage had build up a relaxed familiarity between them. Lydia hummed, leaning her head back into his shoulder. “You want tea?” 

“Yes, please,” Alec reached past her to grab a couple of mugs as she quietly started filling tealeaves into a filter, and pouring on the boiled water. 

“I got an email from mrs. Garroway today.” Alec brought the mugs over to a table tugged into a corner of the room. “She wants to do a dyslexia test on Rafa. Apparently he still isn’t improving.” Alec breathed deeply, nodding slowly. He knew letters had never made much sense to his son, and that his reading skills lacked behind. It wasn't for lack of trying either. Countless of hours had been spent at the kitchen table going over simple words, sounding out letters and constructing sentences. Hours filled with frustration, determination and even tears. 

“Well we kind of knew, didn’t we?” he said as Lydia joined him with her ceramic teapot. 

“Yeah. We did.” she sighed, sinking into a chair opposite him. “I just wish this wasn't a hurdle he’d have to struggle with.” she poured tea into their mugs, pushing one over towards Alec with a sigh. 

“I know,” Alec reached over to fold a warm hand around Lydia’s small one. “But it’s better that he gets help dealing with it than letting him struggle on his own, isn’t it?” Lydia smiled, tiredly, nodding her head. 

  “Yeah. I just wish he wouldn’t have to struggle at all. He’s my baby boy, you know,” she shrugged with that small smile she’d reserved for her child playing on her face. Alec nodded, squeezing her hand before letting go and folding it around his mug instead. “Anyway, they’ll do the test this week, and we’ll know for sure.” Lydia said on an exhale, following it up with a sip of her tea.  Alec, too, sipped his tea, letting the hot liquid seep into his bones, filling him with the peaceful sort of tiredness that came after a long day. 

“So,” Lydia broke the quiet silence a moment later. “Apparently I have a party to plan.” Alec groaned, leaning in over the table to hide his face behind his hand. 

“I’m turning 30. You’d think that makes me old enough to decide what I want to do for my own birthday!” 

“No, apparently that’s a job for your wife. So long as she decides what your mother wants to have happen, and invite the people your mother wants invited irregardless of whether we actually know them or not!” Lydia’s voice was strained as she spoke with a shake of the head. Alec could only smile in sympathy. 

“You know, it’s times like this that I almost envy Max for getting out and away from this mess.” he said, then frowned at the table at his own words. “God, he’d run away all over again if he saw me like this.” this time it was Lydia who reached over to fold a hand around Alec’s. 

  “You brother’s always been smart, if a bit hotheaded. I’d like to think that if he actually stayed to listen he’d see that it’s possible to live your own life and have a good relationship with your siblings.” Alec raised his eyes to meet Lydia’s smile, shrugging one shoulder. 

  “Yeah, maybe. We’d get to find out if he’d just came back. God, I miss him, Lyds.”  Lydia’s smile turned sad as she squeezed his hand tightly. 

  “I know. Hopefully, he knows that, too.” Alec heaved out a sigh, letting Lydia’s attempt at reassurance wash over him. It had been more than seven years since his brother decided to take of on the night of Alec’s wedding, and no-one had heard from him since. It still made Alec’s heart ache and stomach churn, knowing how large a part he and his actions had played in that decision. 

  “So, about this party,” Alec visibly shook of the gloomy feelings threatening at the edges of his mind, “What’s the strategy?” 

(***)

“Mommy!” Rafael stormed through the door and straight for the kitchen with a war-cry. “Mommy, please don’t be sad for ever and ever!” Alec followed, ready to explain the sudden outburst. He had picked up his son, as he did every Thursday, only to find a Rafael filled with questions. Questions about the marks grazing his parents wrists, and why they weren't alike. About why his mother’s was filled when his father’s wasn’t. 

Alec found his wife and son in the kitchen as expected. Rafael had his arms around his mothers knees, face pressed into her thigh. Lydia was facing the doorway, both hands raised perplexedly in the air as she looked down at her son. 

  “They talked about soulmates at assembly today.” Alec said in explanation, leaning against the doorway. “He put two and two together all on his own.” 

“Mrs. Garroway said not having your soulmate anymore makes you sad. I don’t want you to be sad, mommy!” Rafael said, looking up at Lydia with large wet eyes. A soft smile spread over Lydia’s face as she ran a hand through Rafael’s curls, then bending down to be able to look him straight in the eyes. 

“I was sad for a while,” Lydia said, slowly, one hand resting on Rafael’s tiny shoulder. “But now I’m not. Now I have you and I have daddy. You take the sadness away.” Lydia had met John in highschool, and for a few months, she had been one giant ray of sunshine. Then a stupid car crash had taken all that away from her in an instant, leaving her with a whole in her heart that Alec knew no-one could ever fill. He had seen it. Seen the way the deep, in-explicable grief had clung to her skin, making her grey and dull to the bare eye. That hadn’t changed until the moment she’d held her son in her arms for the first time. That was when the spark had returned to her eyes. 

  “You promise?” Rafael’s voice was small, prompting Alec to make his way over to the pair.

  “I promise,” Lydia made sure to hold her son’s eyes as she said those words, running her hand through his curls. Rafael’s lower lip was still wobbling, though, and he fell against his mother’s shoulder, his small arms coming up to fold over her shoulders. Lydia’s eyes met Alec’s over Rafael’s head as she pulled him into her arms. There was a helplessness in her eyes that prompted Alec to reach over and wrap the two of them tight in his own arms. 

  “We’re a family. Making each other happy is what we do.” Alec said, giving his little family a tight squeeze. “And today we do so by getting ice-cream!” Lydia and Alec shared a small smile as Rafael cheered, and shuffled out of their hold to rush to the fridge. With a shake of the head, Alec got to his feet, helping his exited son getting the cartoons out of the fridge. 

(***)

  “Dinner in half an hour!” Magnus called after Max as the smalle boy wrestled out of his coat and ran straight for his bedroom. with the patient sigh of a parent, Magnus bent down to pick up the gear his son had left all over the floor. 

Magnus smiled to himself as he made his way through their small flat to put his own things in his bedroom/study. There was a time when this place had been too filled with sadness for Magnus to stay. - Back when Camille had left and Magnus had had to figure out how to be a single working dad. But Magnus had worked hard to put the happiness back into his home, and now all he saw were the kids drawings on the hallway halls, the portraits Ragnor had gotten him for his 30th in the livingroom, and the litter of little clay figurines and paper cuttings spread all over. He had removed all reminders of the person he’d thought he’d be spending life with, and replaced them with new ones of the person he knew he’d get to keep.   

  A few minutes later the pasta was boiling happily in its pot and Magnus was swaying his hips to the cheeky beats of _‘_ Don’t stop the music _’_ as he chopped tomatoes for the sauce. The cheerful song suddenly cut of in favor of blasting Magnus’ ringtone through the small kitchen. 

  “You ruined my jam!” Magnus accused as the face of his adopted brother toned into view on Facetime. 

  “Well, mission accomplished then,” Ragnor narrowed his eyes at the camera. “Can’t have you scaring my nephew with your taste in music,” Magnus poked his tongue out at the other man, waving his knife in the air as he positioned the phone near the chopping board. 

  “His current favourite is ‘In the Summer’ from frozen - The one with the snowman looking forward to the summer. I think you’ll find I’m the one getting scars here.” Ragnor only laughed at his disgruntled face. “Anyway, how’s married life?” Ragnor and his soulmate, Will, had gotten married a month earlier after having been together for almost seven years. 

  “It’s good,” Ragnor nodded with a soft smile. “not much different from before, but. Before was pretty good, too, so. How are things your end?” 

  “Yeah, good. The summer play is coming up, so work is, you know, crazy. But so much fun. I have this little guy, sweet as all the world. He plays one of the knights, and the other day he gave the entire group a lecture on why the princess’ self-agency was important. - Couldn’t pronounce the word Self-agency, but other than that it was a moving speech.”

  “Good.” Ragnor narrowed his eyes, tilting his head to the side. “That’s good. That you have something to put a smile on your face.” Shaking his head, Magnus let out a huff of breath. 

  “My son does that every day,” he said. It got tiring always having others think they had to look out of for you just because your girlfriend and soulmate left you alone with your newborn child. “Speaking of, I’m sure he wants to tell his uncle everything about his new Ninja Turtles back pack.” Ragnor smirked and nodded. “Max!” Magnus called loudly over his shoulder. “Your uncle Ragnor is on the phone!” at once little tap tap tap’s of little feet against hardwood floors sounded from down the short hallway, signaling Max’ eagerness to talk to his uncle. Magnus watched with fond amusement as his son and brother prattled on on about the backpack as if it was the most interesting thing ever. Life may not be exactly what he’d thought it would be, but it was pretty dang good as it was. 

(***)

“Our son’s a rockstar!” Alec lent in to whisper into Lydias ear. He smirked at the way his wife tried to suppress a smile, though she did give a sharp nod of agreement. They were standing in a narrow hallway lined with metal lockers that made all sound bounce around the parents gathered there in a cacophony of sound. The summer school play had just ended, and all the parents had gathered to await their children’s arrival from the backstage area. Rafael had shone in his role as Sarcastic Knight, making the whole hall break into laughter with his unscripted commentary. The pride that swelled around Alec’s heart was one he hadn’t known even existed until he had met his son for the first time. 

With a swoosh through the hallway the cacophony increased in volume as children flooded out through a doorway. Their lighter voices, filled with excitement, hovered over the lower hum of proud praises. A small body collided with Alec’s legs as Rafael hurdled himself towards his parents. There was a huge grin on his face as he looked up at his parents, and his blue eyes shone brightly.  

  “Hey there, Buddy,” Alec smiled back, ruffling Rafael’s dark curls. “You were great out there.” 

  “I was?” He turned to look at his mother for confirmation. Lydia smiled a rare broad smile, kneeling down to get level with him. 

  “You were amazing, sweetheart,” she beamed at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

  “Excuse me?” A voice pulled Alec’s attention away from his family. A man had made his way over to them. He was tall and asian, and his smile did something rare and not entirely pleasant to Alec’s heart. “You’re Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood I take it?” A small child, younger than Rafael’s school-year, waved enthusiastically at Alec, one slim arm wrapped around the leg of the man. Despite the blazing blue-grey eyes that seemed too large for his little face, it was clear that he and the man were related. They had the same crooked smile. Alec smiled and waved back, as Rafael let go of Alec's legs with a joyful exclamation of ‘Mr. Bane!’

  “We are indeed,” Lydia stood back up and offered her hand to the teacher Rafael had told many a tale of since starting rehearsals for the play. “Lydia,” Mr. Bane nodded with a polite smile, shaking her hand. 

  “Magnus,” he said, then turned his attention to Alec, who took a second too long to smile back at him. 

  “Alexander!” he hastily reached out to shake the teacher’s hand, only to choke on the last syllable of his own name at the wildfire like sensation that went up his arm at the contact with the other’s skin. It was as if the whole world froze for a micro second stretched into eternity. Lydia had explained the sensation many times. How everything just kind of went silent as if someone had pressed mute on the world as she and John had stood frozen in place for however long it had taken to register that everything had changed. This man, this Magnus Bane, was Alec’s soulmate. At this realisation, the world started slowly spinning again, though Alec felt like he would be a couple seconds behind the rest of population earth from then on. 

Magnus had let go of his hand, and turned towards Lydia again. Alec felt himself frowning as he listened to his soulmate explain that he’s the special aids teacher at the school, and that he wanted to introduce himself before starting classes with Rafael the following week. It was entirely too mundane a conversation for Alec’s mind to make any sense of it, and he noted along on autopilot. Was Magnus this good of an actor? Or did the world change for Alec alone? It would be just his luck if that was the case. Spending years fretting this exact moment only for it to be a non-event in the end. He had a good life. He was happy. So why did a rock drop to the pit of his stomach when it didn’t have to change after all?

(***)

Magnus let out a large swoop of air as he watched a rapidly chatting Rafael drag his father out of the room. Never in his years as a teacher had another parent made an impression like the one Alexander Lightwood had left on Magnus’ vulnerable heart. It had been about a week since the school play, were Magnus had first met Alexander Lightwood, and since then, he’d barely been able to get the man out of his thoughts. It was becoming a distracting problem. He was probably imagining things, though, when he thought he’d seen a lingering look on Alexander’s face as he herded his son out of the room.  

Absentmindedly, Magnus rubbed at the old mark on his wrist. It had been itching lately, and he reminded himself he had to buy a new bottle of lotion on his way to get Max. 

Magnus coerced his thoughts to his son and what they were going to make for dinner that night. They were getting visitors. Raphael, Magnus ex-roommate from college, and his husband were bringing over their infant baby-daughter, and Magnus was beyond exited to get to see little baby Maria. 

More than that, he was exited about seeing Raphael with his new daughter. Back when Camille had left, it was the Santiago-Lewis household that had provided the space of sanity that an infant Max had needed. Raphael had surprised everyone with his cold-headedness as he took over care of the baby while Magnus wallowed in self pity. Maybe that was why the otherwise  _word_ latino had taken the role as favourite uncle of young Max. Now, Raphael had a child of his own, and Magnus could not be happier for him. 

Magnus swung his satchel over his shoulder and marched determined out of the office. Tonight he would waste no more time day dreaming about a certain parent of his confidentially named favorite student. 

(***)

“She’s so beautiful,” Magnus sighed, looking down at the tiny baby in his arms. Maria was still so very new to the world, but her eyes were already dark and attentive as they sought out Magnus’ face. Her hair was dark and curly, and there was quite a lot of it already. “Isn’t she beautiful, Darling?” he looked up at Max, who was stood in front of the chair Magnus was sitting on. His son’s eyes were huge as he watched the baby in his father’s arms, and he nodded almost solemnly. He reached over to stroke a small finger tip down her cheek with a shy and fascinated smile, making Maria yawn and blink her eyes. “Every time I see her she just gets more beautiful.” Magnus looked up briefly to find Raphael, his ex-college roommate, shake his head at him. There was a fond smile on his lips, though, and a happy gleam in his otherwise tired eyes.

  “She is very beautiful,” Raphael said, getting up from his seat next to his husband, “And she’s going to be very hungry very soon, so I better get her bottle ready. Want to help me, buddy?” He reached a hand out for Max to take. The little boy did so, happily, skipping alongside Raphael towards the kitchen. Magnus watched them go, then looked back at Maria, who was now making spit-bobbles. 

  “So, Sherbert,” Magnus looked up to find Raphael’s soulmate watching the two of them. “How’s being a daddy?” Simon smiled that broad smile of his, pushing his glasses into place. 

  “Being a daddy is great.” he said, “But it helped, knowing Raphael is great with babies. I would probably be a nervous reck if I didn't have him by my side.” 

  “Yeah, he really proved his parental skills back when i couldn’t handle being a single parent,” Magnus smiled a sad sort of smile down at Maria, whose face scrunched up in displeasure. 

  “No-one blames you for that, you know that rigt?” Simon moved a long the couch to get closer to Magnus. He shrugged half-heartedly, rocking Maria back and forth to try and settle her. 

  “Yeah,” he said as casually as he dared, “Though if you hadn’t given me that speech, then you probably would. In due time.” 

  “I didn’t give you a speech,” Simon frowned in confusion, reaching over to place a hand on Maria’s head. She settled at the touch. “I just talked to you like a normal person.” 

  “Well that _talk_ gave me the push I needed to get my act together, so. Thank you. In case i never told you that.” Back when Magnus had temporarily stayed with Raphael and Simon, he had basically been moping around while Raphael took care of Max. One night, Simon had come into his room, sat down beside him, and told him exactly why Magnus needed to get of his backside and go take over caring for a sad and grieving Max. Simon hadn’t been mean about it. Instead they’d spent good while talking about fears and past hurts. The next morning, Magnus had gotten up when he heard Max, and whispered into the sweet-smelling baby hair, that he loved him, and would never leave. 

  “You have. And you’re welcome,” Simon said with a grin on his face. The conversation drifted to Simon’s upcoming tour. In the last years of college, Simon had joined a band, and had spent the past few years, building up a reputation by playing all the clubs and bars the band could find. Simon was in the middle of a boisterous retelling of a conversation the band had had with one of the venues for the tour when Max and Raphael returned, bottle in hand. As if she could smell the food, Maria suddenly started fussing, and Simon was quick to transfer the infant to his own arms, accepting the bottle his husband passed him. 

 

“So, you haven’t told us about the school play yet,” Raphael prompted sitting down next to Simon.

  “Oh, trust me I have a whole speech prepared for after dinner, with slides and everything,” Magnus winked holding on to Max as the boy climbed into his lap. “But I can give you a preview if you want. There’s this kid, Rafael who spend the whole time on stage doing running commentary. I’d be pissed at him for ruining my script if he wasn’t a comedian in the making.” 

  “He was funny,” Max agreed, nodding along and then taking over telling the story of Magnus’ student who’s father ended up taking the staring role of the night. Running his fingers through his son’s hair, Magnus found himself smilling as he listened to his son’s lilting voice. 

(***)

  “Alec, Sweetie,” Alec looked up sharply, to find Lydia standing by the door to their room. He had once again been lost in thoughts about Magnus Bane, the soulmate he’d long feared to find. Making the decision to keep the bond a secret had been an easy one. He could not risk his son’s happiness. Family was the most important thing. The fact that it was an unrequited bond only made it all the easier to convince himself that his decision was right.

Lydia looked amazing, dressed in a long forest green dress, the diamond adorned necklace Alec had given her for their wedding sparkling around her long exposed neck. A pang of guilt hit him. He had a beautiful wife, and here he was, daydreaming up ways to satisfy the Craving burning sharply through his veins. It had been a little over 3 weeks since he met Magnus, and still the desire to touch and hold had a firm grip of his heart. Craving was different for everyone, that much was common knowledge. For some it was so intense that the newly bonded couple would disappear form the world for a while, unable to keep their hands to themselves. For others it was lighter, like a soft breeze as a coworker had once described it. As Alec smiled at his radiant wife, he wished Craving could have been like that for him. - Just a soft kiss of the summerwind. Instead he was hit with a hurricane of emotions constantly swirling around within him with no signs of letting up. 

  “You about ready to go?” Lydia smiled, moving through the room as she spoke. 

  “Yup,” Alec smiled up at her as she stopped in front of him, reaching out to shuffle a few pieces of hair back into place. 

  “Let’s do this then,” She said as he got to his feet. He pressed a kiss to her forehead as she intertwined their fingers. 

  “Let’s do this.” 

(***)

“Hey, man. You made it!” Jace had never smiled as broadly as he did that night, pulling Alec in for a tight bro-hug. The party was already buzzing in the grand hall by the time Lydia and Alec made it there. - Rafael had not been happy about having to stay with the nanny when his parents got to celebrate Uncle Jace finding his soulmate. It had taken some time to convince him that tonight was a boring event, and that the real fun would be had the next day when Jace and his Clary were coming over for lunch. “And you dressed up and everything.” 

  “She made me,” Jace’s smile was infectious, but even so, Alec rolled his eyes and nodded his head to his wife who was next in line for a tight Jace hug. “Now, where’s this Redheaded Goddess we’re here to meet?” Alec smirked, referring to the phonecall he had gotten from his brother a few days ago. 

  “She’s showing her mother something. She’ll be back in a sec.” Jace looked about the ballroom, trying to spot his soulmate. “Anyway. While I have you, there’s something I have to tell you and Izz!” He turned on his heal, wading through the crowd that had gathered in the hall. 

Jace had always had knack for taking advantage of their parents wealth and willingness to flaunt it to the right people. The party that night had Maryse Lightwood written all over it with its over the top gold and white decorations and expensive hour d’oeuvres passed along on silver plates by waiters in penguin-suits. Alec grabbed a couple, along with a flute of champagne as he and Lydia followed Jace through the crowd. 

  “Yo! Izzy!” Jace called, reaching their sister. Izzy was, unsurprisingly, dressed to the nines in a smooth black dress with a deep cleavage. Diamonds sparkled from the heavy earrings and the necklace that  hung low around her neck. 

  “Hey, big brother!” She exclaimed jumping at Alec, and pulling him in for a tight hug as well. 

  “Okay, so i have something to tell you guys! Huddle up,” Jace motioned for the three of them to huddle closer, a happy sparkle in his eyes. “So, I was talking to Clary yesterday about stuff, you know, and somehow Max came up. And I showed her a picture of him.” Alec’s heart started speeding up at the name, frowning as he watched the excitement in Jace’s face. “And she recognised him! Apparently she used to room with Simon Lewis, Max friend you know?” Alec and Izzy both nodded, and Alec could see in Izzy’s face that she was as much in shock as he was. 

Alec remembered Simon with his large glasses and friendly smile. He’d picked the two boys up from school enough times to still recall their nerdy banter with fondness. The last time anyone from the Lightwood family had seen Simon Lewis was the day after Max had disappeared. Simon had come by to tell the Lightwood that he, as the only one, had gotten a goodbye. 

  “So it turns out Max used to send Lewis postcards every so often, with like pictures and stuff of himself! She thinks he might still do it. Maybe we can get, like, clues or something! Or at least see how he’s doing!” Lydia was squeezing Alec’s hand tightly, and he could feel her eyes on his face. He didn’t dare look back though, to busy fighting the way his heart was trying to escape trough his chest. So many years had passed with no word of Max. For so long the siblings had avoided talking about him, too scared of upsetting the carefully constructed happy facade they'd constructed. 

  “Are you for real? Why didn’t you say anything straight away? Someone might have a picture of my brother!” Izzy was shaking Jace shoulder rather harshly. “Let’s go talk to Simon! Is he here tonight?” 

  “No, he’s on tour or something. But Clary is trying to get the postcards from his soulmate, so. Hopefully we’ll get them soon.” Jace pried of Izzy’s fingers, holding her hands tightly instead. “I promise, we’re working as fast as we can.” 

  “That’s wonderful news, Jace,” Lydia said, reaching her free hand over to fold around Alec’s arm. “Isn’t it sweetie.” Alec nodded in agreement, trying to get his body to function again after the shock to his system. 

  “Yeah,” the word managed to pass the hurdleds of his dry throat, “Yeah, it’s amazing news.” he smiled, grabbing Jace’s shoulder and squeezing it tight. For a moment the four of them just stood in their huddle, looking from one hopeful face to another. Then Lydia decided to break the pattern. 

  “Amazing as this is, I came here tonight to dance with my husband,” Alec’s confused ‘what?’ went ignored, “And to meet your lovely Clary. So what do you say to going out there and honoring Max by making absolute fools of ourselves, and then we can obsess and strategize over lunch tomorrow?” 

(***)

The clangs of plates hitting the metal racks of the dishwasher was almost enough to drown out the chatter and laughter drifting into the kitchen from the dinning room. Almost mindlessly, Alec stacked the used plates one by one, while his thoughts escaped him once again. The bonding party the night before, with its loud music and constant flow of champagne, had almost entirely blocked out the longing coursing through his bloodstream. So had the lunch, in its own way, filled, as it had been by memories of old times.

Now, though, standing in an empty kitchen with a sink full of dirty glasses, the Craving was back full force. Alec was just the right side of hungover to not be bothered with fighting his wandering mind. He was so stuck on a memory of Magnus and Rafael reading the week before that he didn't notice the nick of his finger at first. 

When the pain registered, slowly, like a ship appearing through the fog, blood had already dripped from his thumb down his wrist. Dumbfoundedly, he found himself staring at it. It didn't look good. A long jagged line of oozing red running from the tip of his thumb to just below the first joint. He should probably do something. It escaped him, though, what it was that he was supposed to do in a situation like this. 

  “Alec, how’s…” Lydia’s voice cut of mid-sentence, and Alec slowly turned towards her. “Alec!” She gasped grabbing a tea towel and strode over to him in two long strides. “Where is your head these days, honestly.” she muttered as she wrapped his finger tightly. 

  “One of the glasses must have smashed,” Alec said as if in reply. Lydia shook her head slowly.

  “Here, keep it up and put pressure on it.” She instructed, moving his hand into position. Then she nimbly undid the clasps on the cuff Alec always wore to cover up his mark. The action sparked Alec’s brain into action and he tried wrestling his wrist out of her grib. He got a stern look for his actions. It took her a breath to realize that the mark had changed, and when she did, her gasp was followed by a sharp slap to his shoulder. 

  “What?!” he faked ignorance, which, judged by the murderous look on his wife’s face, was not a wise choice. 

  “Your mark’s filled out!” she hissed. 

  “Oh, yeah. It did that.” Alec knew how dumb he sounded, but he didn’t know what else to say. 

  “How long?” Lydia looked up into his eyes, and there was a fire burning there that spelled out danger. 

  “About 3 and a half weeks.” Alec whispered, “But it doesn’t matter. It was one-sided.” He quietly tacked on the end of his sentence. 

  “You should have told me.” Lydia methodically went back to checking his thumb. “Do you know who it is?” his thumb was still bleeding quite badly, and the sight of it made his stomach turn. 

 “It’s, uhm, its Magnus. Mr. Bane.” her eyes snapped back to his face. 

  “I think you might need stitches.” She said. “Keep pressure on. I’ll go get Izzy.” She marched away only too stop in the doorway and look back at him. “We’re not done talking about this!” She pinned him with a stare, and then disappeared towards the sound of continous chatter. 

(***)

“So. You bonded?” Izzy glanced over at Alec, who was staring intently out of the windshield. Izzy had confirmed that Alec needed stitches to his finger, and had driven him to the emergency room. Even with her contacts it had takken a coupe of hours. Alec had had plenty of time to stress over the fight that was waiting for him at home. 

  “Yeah. I guess.” he sighed, keeping his eyes on the city passing by the car windows. 

  “So what are you going to do?” She send him another glance, her eyes glinting in the streetlight zipping past. 

  “Nothing,” Alec shrugged, keeping his eyes on the houses getting drenched in quiet rain. 

  “Nothing?!” Izzy was frowning. Alec didn’t have to see her face to know that. “Seriously?” 

  “Yeah.” Taking his eyes of the world outside, Alec turned to lean his head back against the headrest of the seat. 

  “But it’s your soulmate!” There was a note of incredulity in Izzy’s voice. An incredulity Alec matched in the look he send towards Izzy’s uncovered wrist. When she had met her soulmate, a caterer serving at Alec’s wedding, Izzy had stealthily ignored him. Alec had never heard her mention the bond again. “Yeah, I ignored my soulmate,” Izzy said in response to his look, “And I’ve regretted it ever since.” Alec simply raised his eyebrow. “I mean it, Alec. It’s the biggest mistake I’ve made. Max was right. I shouldn’t have let my fear of him holding me back from my dreams win. Now, there’s this whole following me around, and I have no idea what to do to fill it.” 

  “It’s one-sided, Izz. And anyway, I’ve got Rafael. I’ve got Lydia. I’m not. I’m not jeopardizing that. I have a son. That’s the most important thing.” Alec hardly dared glancing at Izzy as he told her the same half-truths that kept him going at the moment. Judging by huff that came from the other side of the car, Izzy saw straight through him. 

  “Right. And that’s why you didn’t tell Lydia. That’s why you didn't let her get a say in how this plays out?” Alec rolled his eyes. 

  “I didn’t tell Lydia because it’s sorted. There’s nothing to get a say in.” Izzy was shaking her head, as she pulled op at his building. Before he could get out of the car, she reached over to grab his arm. 

  “Raf is the most important thing. I know that. But do you really think he’s better of with a dad and a mum who’re both longing for their lost soulmates?” Her eyes were honest as she looked straight at him. 

  “I think he’s better of with both his parent together is what I think.”  Alec forced out, tearing his arm out of her grab, and throwing himself out of the car. 

(***)

  “I swear if I didn’t know better I’d say this was Craving,” Magnus complained, trowing himself on the couch as dramatically as he could. He didn’t get any sympathy though, only an annoyed huff and a chuckle. He lifted his head to send Raphael a scowl, which went wholly ignored as Raphael was busy singing Maria to sleep. Then he flopped over to send a hurt look at the laptop on the coffee table. 

  “Your husband is mean!” he told the grainy picture of Simon, who’s only  response was a roll of the eyes. “No-one understand my pain.” Magnus whined, letting his head fall back onto the cushion of the Lewis-Santiago couch. 

  “You’re crushing on a parent from school.” Raphael’s dry voice wasn’t all that welcome. “I don’t think you really have the moral highground here.” 

  “But he’s perfect! Even you would say so if you saw him. Tall as a tree but gentle as a flower. All big brown eyes that could lure even the most innocent teacher astray and a smile that does unspeakable things to your insides.” Magnus waved his hands about in the air above him as he spoke. The laughter that followed his poetic tirade made him frown in hurt at the computer screen. “Raphael, your husband is as mean as you are. I see why you make such a good couple.” Magnus called after his friend who’d gone to put down his daughter. 

  “We do make an amazing couple,” Simon mussed through the speakers of the laptop. “Now, if I promise not to laugh, do you want to tell me about this tree slash flower of yours? Is there no hope for you?” 

  “Sadly, no.” Magnus sighed, shuffling around to get into a seated position, legs crossed as he faced the laptop. “He’s married. To a literal goddess.” Magnus scratched at his mark again, frowning down at the red and irritated skin. 

  “That sucks.” Finally, some sympathy snuck its way into the conversation. 

  “It really does,” Magnus pouted. 

  “Don’t indulge him, Bebé.” Raphael dumped onto the couch next to Magnus, pushing at him to get into the frame of the web-cam. 

  “I’m not,” Simon held his hands up in defence. “It really must suck to have those sorts of feelings for someone you can’t have.” Magnus nodded, exaggerating his pout for effect. It didn’t have any, though, as Raphael only rolled his eyes. 

  “It’s not actually Craving, you know. It can’t be. Magnus already bonded once.” Raphael pointedly looked down at the Mark Camille had filled years back, then frowned at the state of the skin surrounding the black markings of Angel wings folding out over a web of flowers. “What are you doing?” he asked, grabbing Magnus’ hand which had absentmindedly been scratching at the edge of the mark. 

  “I don’t know?” Magnus said, confused at Raphael’s reaction. “It itches?” 

  “How long has it been doing that?” Raphael brushed Magnus fingers away and inspected the mark closer. 

  “I don’t know, a couple of weeks? Or something?” Magnus shrugged.

  “So since you met this Alec person?” Raphael questioned with more seriousness than he’d ever displayed before when it came to Magnus’ various little crushes. Magnus nodded and combined it with a shrug to show his uncertainty. 

  “What is it, honey?” Simon’s voice shook Raphael out of whatever thought he was trapped in. 

  “You said he’s married?” Magnus nodded as Simon supplied with ‘to a literal goddess’. “But are they soulmates? Do you know?” there was an intensity to Raphael’s gaze that made Magnus feel unsettled and confused. He helplessly pulled up his shoulders in a shrug. 

  “I mean, I think Lydia’s mark’s filled, but i haven’t seen Alexander’s. He keeps it covered.” he stuttered out. 

  “Wait wait wait wait!” Simon babbled suddenly from the computer, making Raphael turn his intense gaze to his husband instead. “Did you just say Lydia and Alexander? As in Alexander Lightwood? That’s the guy you’re crushing on?” There was an excitement in Simon’s voice that Magnus had a hard time translating. In fact this entire conversation had taken a turn he hadn’t been prepared for, and he felt like both his stomach and brain were still headed in another direction from the rest of him. 

  “Yeah? That’s his name.” Magnus supplied uncertainly. 

  “I know him!” Simon smiled broadly, almost manically. It was kind of scary. “He’s Max’s brother.” he said as if that would make perfect sense. The way Raphael nodded made it seem like it actually did. “Alec got married ages ago. To hide the fact that he likes making out with guys. He and Lydia are not soulmates.” Magnus was so busy freaking out over that piece of information that he almost missed Raphael’s muttered sentence. 

  “Maybe it is craving after all.” he mussed, poking at Magnus wrist. 

  “What?” Simon exclaimed, mirroring Magnus’ utter shock. He’d come here for sympathy. Not a rollercoaster of emotions he didn't know what to do with. 

  “You know how scientist think soulmates has to do with shared genetic markings, and that finding your soulmate actually means finding one out of maybe thousands of potentials?” Magnus nodded even though he had no idea what Raphael was on about. Being a grumpy Latino made it easy to forget that Raphael was actually a hopeless romantic who'd spent college studying soulmates. “Well, they think that the mark being complete stops your genes from registering other potentials. However. Magnus is a glitch. So his mark is filled, but it wasn't reciprocated. Which. There are a few cases like his where single bonds met another potential later on and went through all the symptoms again, though this time it was reciprocated. Maybe that’s what’s happening here. Maybe this Alec person bonded with Magnus the first time they touched, and Magnus did, too, only he couldn't feel it as well because of his mark already being filled. Maybe you’ve got another shot at a soulmate.” A sincere smile had taken over Raphael’s face as he spoke. Magnus found himself unable to do anything but stare at him, stunned. 

  “Could you repeat that?” he whispered after a short while. “Not the full thing. Just the conclusion.” he hastened to add. 

  “I think this Alexander Lightwood is your Soulmate.” Raphael said the words slowly and honestly, looking Magnus straight in the eyes. “I think you’ve got a second chance, Mags.” 

  “Holly shit!” Simon exclaimed from the computer, “Holly shit, are you serious?” Raphael nodded slowly, not taking his eyes of Magnus face. Magnus could feel his hands shaking in Raphael’s grib. He looked down at the mark he’d spent years hatting. Then he looked back up at Raphael’s glowing face. 

  “Well, what do I do now?” he asked in honest wonder. Raphael’s smile only widened. 

  “That,” he said slowly, “Is what we’re going to figure out now.”

(***)

The flat was eerily quiet when Alec entered. Normally, putting Jace and Rafael in the same room led to tornado-like conditions. That was what he’d left. Now, though, the place was entirely still. Lydia was sitting at the table in the kitchen, hands folded around a mug, sheets of paper spread out in front of her. She looked about ten years older than when he’d left. 

  “Hi,” he walked over to sit down in the seat opposite her. “So… Raf’s not here?” Alec said slowly, picking at the bandage around his finger. 

  “I sent him with Jace and Clary to the zoo. Izzy’s going to meet them there, and take Rafael with her home for the night. I figured we could use the time to talk this through.” Lydia was calm as she spoke, looking straight at him. 

  “Lyds, it’s…” Alec sighed heavily and starred at the table in search of the words he needed to wade of a fight. His eyes snapped up to Lydia’s face, though, when he realized what was written on the sheets of paper. 

  “I want a divorce.” She said it slow and measured, utter conviction emanating from her steel-grey eyes, the tightness of her fists around the mug and the setting of her shoulders. She wasn’t oppening up for a debate. 

  “Lyds, seriously,” Alec wasn’t going down without a fight, “Don’t be dramatic about this, please. We’re not getting a divorce.” Lydia sighed, her hands folding even tighter around the mug. 

  “Alec, you promised me that once you found him, we would end this thing.” There was an edge to her voice and a shimmer in the corner of her eyes, “That was before Rafael, Lyds. I’m not doing this. I'm not splitting up my son’s family, his home.” Alec swallowed down the lump in his throat as Lydia reached across the table to fold a hand around one of his. 

  “I know family’s sacred to you, Alec. But sacrificing your own happiness like this is not what our son needs. Raf deserves parents that are happy. Even if that means us no being together. If I didn’t do this, if I didn't push right now, I wouldn’t be doing right by my child.” Alec shook he head slowly, a tremor taking hold of his body. 

  “Don’t say shit like that Lyds. That’s not fair.” Lydia didn’t reply. she only looked at him with tearstained eyes. “It’s not even a real bond. Why wont you hear that. He didn’t bond. Not with me. He’s probably at home right now with his own soulmate and his son. This stupid mark doesn’t change anything.” Alec felt his heart speed away in his chest, his lungs heaving for breath. 

  “He’s not.” Lydia’s voice was quiet, barely heard over the noise of Alec’s thoughts. “He’s not with his soulmate. It was a glitch, and apparently she left.” Alec made a face at her which screamed disbelief and confusion. “He told me a couple of weeks ago when I asked about his son.” Alec bit his teeth together trying hard to not let her revelation get to him. “He’s a good man, Alec. And Rafael already really likes him. Can’t you at least try? Who knows, maybe it will even be really good?” 

  “Yeah, or really, really bad.” Alec bit out. “I’m not. This still sounds like the worst idea ever.” He waved his hands at the papers on the table. “I’m not doing this shit.” He pushed away from the table and got to his feet. “I’m going to jus get away from this.” He strode out of the kitchen and then the flat, ignoring Lydia’s pleas for him to stay. When his feet hit the pavement his legs took of at a run, carrying him far away from the pressure of everything. 

(***)

“Hey little man.” Alec stayed in the doorway to Rafael’s room, watching his son. Rafael looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes from where he was spread out on the floor surrounded by half finished masterpieces. “How are you holding up?” Rafael’s bottom lip wobbled as he sat up and threw a crayon at his dad with a petulant look in his large eyes. 

That morning Lydia and Alec had greeted him in the door when Izzy had dropped him of. They’d both been tired after a long night of talks and heavy decisions. Alec had ended up running in a circle, ending back up at the flat with a clearer head. Lydia had moved to the living room, curled up in a chair with eyes sore from crying. “This isn’t about you finding your soulmate.” she’d said. “It’s about living this lie with you when I know there’s something better out there for you. It’s about looking at that mark and knowing that you could have what John and I should have had. It’s about me knowing that you’re hiding from everyone, including yourself, and using our son as an excuse.” They’d fought for hours. Full on shouting and slamming doors. They’d never done that before. Then a weird sense of detached calm had settle in the both of them, and they’d sat down in Alec’s windowsill with two legal pads and a laptop and they’d hashed everything out. 

They’d sat Rafael down in the kitchen with coffees, hot cocoa and that same laptop. They had explained to him, as calmly as they could what was going to happen. That Lydia was looking for a new place to live on her own. That for now Rafael would be living with Alec until Lydia got settled. That his parents still loved him more than anything, and would be there for him whenever and wherever he needed. They wouldn’t be ‘mom&dad’ any more. They'd just be mom and dad. 

At first Rafael hadn’t understood what they were saying. Then he’d gotten very still, lip caught between his teeth as he processed what he’d been told. Then he’d screamed at them at the top of his lungs. Had trashed his room and snapped half his precious crayons while Alec and Lydia had stood, helplessly, outside his door. 

  “I’ve got those pictures we talked about,” Alec carefully let himself settle on the floor in doorway, legs folded and box of postcards placed carefully in his lap. Izzy had dropped them of half an hour ago. Lydia had cried herself to sleep in their bedroom, and Alec had been sitting guard outside Rafael’s door. Izzy had taken one look at him, pulled him into a crushing hug and told him to call her. She’d left quickly with a kiss to his cheek, ignoring the tears in his eyes just like he hoped she would. “The ones of your uncle Max.” Rafael had turned his attention back to the drawing he was working on. 

With a sigh, Alec carefully opened the box - A self-crafted wooden chest covered in pictures of superheroes. Max used to have one similar. He and Simon had made them in school for a projekt. Max’s now held Rafael’s collection of figurines, and was proudly displayed on his bookshelf above the little bed. Alec could feel Rafael’s eyes on him, as he pulled out the stack of thick carton. And there he was. His baby brother, all grown up, looking into the camera with a big grin. It was a selfie taken in someone’s livingroom - probably Max’s own. He looked the same as ever, despite being a proper adult now. His greenish eyes shone with mischief and the dimples he used to hate still made his face look soft and boyish. His hair was a carefully constructed mess, the tips of it dyed a dark blue. Thick dark lines made his eyes pop, and there was a silver stud pushed through his eyebrow. Thick yellow letters wound their way across the bottom of the card. ‘Like the new look?’ they said. The first tear was rolling down his cheek, and Alec brushed it of as he flipped onto the next postcard. 

  Rafael shuffled himself closer as Alec smiled and cried, flipping through the stack of cards. Alec hardly noticed, and flinched when tiny fingers suddenly poked at his tearstained cheek. He looked up to catch the confused sadness in his son’s eyes. Forcing his smile to widen, Alec whipped his face dry. He moved the box from his lap, making a space for Rafael to crawl up in. When the boy did just that, yet another tear rolled down Alec’s cheek. He folded his arms tightly around his son, pressing a hard kiss against his little curly head. 

  “Want to look at these with me?” he whispered, picking the cards up, and holding them at an angle so that Rafael could see. “That’s your Uncle Max apparently chasing innocent ducks in a park.” he whispered, pointing to the laughing figure of his brother. Rafael let out a little chuckle tracing a finger over the words spelling out ‘They stole my lunch!’ in white letters. 

It took ages, flipping through the pictures. Max seemed to have sent a postcard every other month for the past eight years. Rafael insisted on stopping at each of them, taking them in, studying them. Even the ones of random shoes (‘I so want those!’) and furniture (‘how am I supposed to fit all my things in this thing?’). They laughed together at Max pulling faces in a library (‘Whoever invented Business Planning needs to apologize!’) and beaming over a huge piece of cake, some of which was smeared on his cheek (‘No more Teen years!). The picture of Max smiling widely in a cap and gown, waving a diploma (‘I survived!!!!!’) brought the tears back to Alec’s eyes, as did the one of Max standing outside of a small shop with the words ‘adult worklife here I come!’ printed in large happy letters. 

During the second flip-through Lydia joined them on the floor with a tub of ice-cream and three spoons. On the third flip trough, Rafael fell asleep in Alec’s arm’s, one hand clutching his mother’s sleeve tightly. The fourth time Alec flipped through the peeks into his brother’s life, there was a knock on the door. Lydia went to get it when Alec made no signs of moving. She came back, and there was this look on her face, of awe and disbelief, that Alec wasn’t sure how to read. 

  “It’s for you,” she whispered, bending down to pick up Rafael and carry him to his bed. Alec hadn’t notice the tiredness that had seeped into his limps while he’d been sitting on the floor for hours. He stretched his body lazily as he walked towards the front door. 

When he saw who was waiting at the door, nervously twining his fingers in a way that was far to familiar, Alec broke. Max must have developed ninja-like skills because he somehow managed to catch Alec as his legs gave out under him. “Hey, big brother.” he whispered, holding on tight to Alec’s shoulders, “You okay there?” Alec could only shake his head wordlessly as large fat tears rolled uncontrollably down his cheeks. He dragged Max into his arms, and when Max’s arms carefully folded around him, too, large painful sobs broke free of his chest.       

(***)

_One month later_

Magnus found himself bitting his lips as he drank in the sight of his soulmate. Alexander was standing in the kitchen, casually leaning against the counter, arms folded over his broad chest, while he watched his sister talk animatedly at him. It had been about a month since Alec had confirmed their bond in an otherwise empty classroom at Magnus’ school. A month that had been both filled with stress and extreme happiness. They’d decided, on that day in the classroom, that they would be taking things slow. - Alec was in the middle of a divorce, and had a son who depended on him more than ever. To top it of, Alec’s brother had just returned from hiding, and even though Magnus still didn’t know the full story, he knew enough to understand Alec’s need to be with his family. The whole taking it slow thing was hindered though, by the sudden all consuming need to be close. - It was as if the acceptance of their bond had flicked a switch, igniting a deeply rooted craving for the other. 

  So they had spent uncountable hours texting and facetiming between dinner making and bedtimes. They’d had dates on the nights Lydia had Rafael, and occasional sleepovers, too. It had been hard and weird and wonderful. And now they were here, at a small party in Magnus’ tiny flat, surrounded by friends and family. Sharing the beginnings of their future with the people they most wanted to be a part of it. 

  “Hey, Mags. I think someone’s ready for bed.” Magnus turned to find Raphael standing behind him, Max cradled in his arms. The boy’s arms were wrapped tight around his uncle’s neck, and his little head was hidden in Raphael’s shoulder. Magnus smiled and gently transferred his son to his own arms. 

  (***)

Alec was waiting for him when Magnus returned to the living room. Two arms quickly found their place on his hips, and Magnus happily accepted the kiss that was offered to him, giving back one of his own. 

  “I have gossip,” Alec revealed, eyes wide and full of mischief.

  “Oh, yeah? How well you know me already,” Magnus teased, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of Alec’s neck. 

  “Indeed,” Alec smiled. “So apparently your friend James is my sister’s long lost soulmate. They’ve talked, and Izzy is not without hope of a reconciliation.” There was a deeply rooted happiness in Alec’s voice, though Magnus could hardly appreciate it because it was drowned out by his own joy. 

  “That. Is not the gossip I thought you had,” He offered, still slightly stunned at the thought of Jem getting to talk to the soulmate who rejected him so long ago. 

  “No?” Alec rose an eyebrow at him, “What then?” 

  “Well. Apparently this is the night of finding soulmates, old and new alike.” Magnus said slowly, teasingly, making Alec wait. Alec poked his tongue out, leaning in to steal a kiss. “Cat met her soulmate, and I bet you can’t guess who it is?” Alec’s eyebrows shot up and he quickly scanned the room around him. A wide smile spread over his face, suddenly, and Magnus turned to follow his gaze. Cat was sitting on the couch, which had been pushed against the wall. Next to her Rafael was hiding behind a notebook, clearly creating his own calm in the chaos that surrounded him. Cat wasn’t paying attention to Rafael though. Her eyes - her whole body - was focused towards Max Lightwood, who was speaking softly to his nephew. 

Alec turned back to catch Magnus eyes, shaking his head weakly. “Huh,” he hummed, pulling a widely grinning Magnus closer. “That’s a whole lot of people tying us together then. Seems us meeting really was inevitable.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I'd love to hear what you thought, so feel free to comment or find me on tumblr (Flyingonthewind). It's not entirely out of the question to add to this universe, so if there's something you would like to see, or add yourself, let me know. 
> 
> In any case, I hope you enjoyed.


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